This is a live reading I did of the first part of “The Four Keys” I did on Twitch on December 5, 2022 during my regular stream.

I suppose this is a fitting time to write this post, as the last two months have been long ones for both me and my wife. My Father-in-Law passed away on August 25th after suffering several strokes and vascular dementia. It was really difficult for my wife, for a lot of reasons, and it was hard watching her father decline in those last months. We got through it, and through the aftermath, and this last month has mostly been recovery.

I say it’s a fitting time to write this post because October 31st, along with being Halloween, is also the pagan/Wiccan holiday of Samhain, where we honor our ancestors. For us, it’ll be a difficult one. But to be honest, Samhain has been difficult since 2020. So many dead. So many confused and angry Spirits. 

And this year, the Spirits are LOUD. Even here in Switzerland where it’s generally psychically quiet. I’m not sure exactly what’s going on yet, but maybe when we do our ritual on Monday, I’ll find out more. There’s so many things making the world a hostile place, a part of me feels that Spirits being this active is not really a surprise. 

I’ve been coping a lot by getting into gaming, specific Elder Scrolls Online (as you can tell by the previous fanfic) and writing more novels. Another thing that’s keeping me occupied has been preparing for NaNoWriMo. The biggest thing was creating a Discord Server called “Publishing Heretics” for those who are self-publishing on principle and/or by choice. I also moved a couple of websites off our personal web server. You know, keeping busy.

Of course, the other day I updated my Mac to Ventura and borked my ESO launcher. *sigh* But my Super Awesome Bestest Wife is building me a gaming PC. I’m stoked for that! 

So, life moves forward. I try not to dwell in the land of Spirits, which is hard to do this time of year (although, not that easy during the rest of the year, either, since my vocation is to work with those who are dying or grieving). I drink coffee, cook, game, and write. One day at a time.

For those who celebrate Samhain, I wish you a Blessed day with your Ancestors. For those that don’t, Happy Halloween!

I’ll be back after NaNoWriMo. 

There was a plot whoops in Blackwood with the Dark Brotherhood, so I did some headcanon for it. Enjoy! 🙂

Shadow Pawns (5398 words) by worthyadvisor
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Elder Scrolls Online, Elder Scrolls
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Elam Drals, Eveli Sharp-Arrow, Original Dunmer Character(s) (Elder Scrolls), Original Argonian Character(s) (Elder Scrolls)
Additional Tags: Headcanon, Elder Scrolls Online: Blackwood, Elder Scrolls Online: Morrowind, Dark Brotherhood (Elder Scrolls) – Freeform, elder scrolls online – Freeform
Summary:

Velyn Nass is a new initiate of the Dark Brotherhood, sent on a mission to Blackwood from the guild’s newest Silencer, but then finds herself pitted against Elam Drals.

I wasn’t sure what to write this month, since my books are still in the editing process. Life has also happened. We’ve had some family issues in the last couple of months that have been difficult, but we’re hanging in there. For me, I’m just taking it day by day, writing book #5 when I can, taking care of The Wife, and playing Elder Scrolls Online. (If you’re on PC/EU, feel free to friend me there if you like. Username is @worthyadvisor.)

What’s mostly been on my mind lately, besides the family stuff, is the news coming out of the US. More mass shootings, the January 6 hearings, anti-trans bullshit, anti-queer bullshit, racist bullshit, and so on, ad nauseum.

I can’t write about it anymore. It’s all stuff I’ve written about for years on this blog. There’s the right wing fascists who want to kill people like me and my wife and create a theocracy. There’s left wing fascists who demand ideological purity and still want to kill people like my wife (who is transgender). I feel like I’ve lost my country. There are days where I want to march to Bern and hand in my passport. (I’m not going to do that, though, because that would make my life way more complicated than it needs to be.) My wife’s lost her country, too. And it’s not entirely from the Tories, either. It’s because TERFs have taken on positions in the the UK government, and there is massive anti-transgender sentiment in the country now (fuck you JK Rowling).

It’s exhausting. I mean, at least, being in Switzerland, we don’t have to worry about getting shot.

I’m tired of writing about compassion and spirituality and feeling like I’m talking to brick walls. I’m tired of having to prove that I’m perfect when it comes to anything progressive. I’m tired of people being shitty with each other and not giving people the chance to change and grow.

I want to have more hope. I want to think that we can get ourselves out of this rut of hatefulness that we’re in. But it’s hard to see any end. Things sometimes seem to look up, but then nothing happens. The priest in me wants to fix everything, but it feels like nothing can be fixed, or that what people try to do to fix things just won’t work.

I try to put hope in my stories and I’d love it if I’d inspire people to strive for something better. But right now, change seems so very far away.

It’s May 2022. Good lord, it feels like it’s been a million years since I last posted. Lots of family stuff in the last few weeks, which I won’t get in to, but it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster.

It’s been a few months since I finished my first 4 novels. They’ve been in the editing process since January, and I’m still hoping for an end of summer release of the books. I’ll say again, that my editors are awesome and have been really great about everything.

After the editing’s done, it’s time to do cover art, formatting, and uploading.

The books will be available via Amazon and as many other formats I can do as ebooks. And yes, you’ll be able to get dead tree versions as well.

Yes, I’ll also be doing audio books, but I’ll be originally doing them as a podcast. When the podcasts are done, I’ll be cutting them together so I can upload them to the usual places for audiobooks. That way, there’s a free version if you don’t mind the podcast format and a regular audiobook version for folks who like it that way. To start with, I’ll be doing a podcast of “The Four Keys” and I’ll let you all know when it’s going to come out. The podcasts will be available from the usual places (Apple, Stitcher, etc).

My brain’s been a bit scattered lately, so I’ll keep this short. And a reminder: the pandemic isn’t over yet, so wear your masks and get vaccinated!

Writing is going slow, but that’s because I’m also in the middle of working with an editor and proofreader. Response to the books from folks who are helping with the editing process has been awesome. I feel like the novels are now getting closer to publication!

Next, though, comes formatting, cover art, doing dead tree proofs, then, finally, getting it out to you all! My impatient self wants them done RIGHT NOW, but my rational brain knows that it’s a marathon, not a sprint. So, I try and work on the 5th book between edits.

One interesting bit for folks who like journaling and RPGs: I was introduced to this journaling RPG called “Over the Mountain” by Marz Corbeau, and it’s been fun to play with it. It might actually be the start of a totally different type of novel (read: Non-Survey Universe). I also had to bring out my pink sparkly dice for it, but it’s been fun. I’m not doing a full version of the game (I’m mostly doing the time/place/person prompts), but some of my other friends are and love it! I also like the fact that you “win” by filling the journal! I have plenty of journals and notebooks that I could fill with a game like this!

Also been playing a lot of Elder Scrolls Online. If you’re on the EU server and want to say hello, ping me and I’ll give you my info.

OK, back to the grind…