(I missed a day! Oops)

when I know I have to eat
or when I have to not eat
a particular thing
because it makes me ill
it’s like I have to
welcome a demon in
just to feel well:

that demon being
the one that tells me
how ugly I am

and how
unacceptable
I am

The one that tells me
that I shouldn’t bother to eat –

especially
not in front of people –

because the fat girl
really shouldn’t eat
in public

but I can’t get away from
eating
because humans have to eat

we’re addicted to food
from day one
we can’t function without food

I just wish
I could stop feeling ashamed –

no – that society
would stop shaming me –

for doing what
I have to do
to survive